Title: Reconciliation with the past

"Reconciliation with your past will allow you to grow" means that acknowledging, understanding, and making peace with past experiences—especially painful or unresolved ones—can free you emotionally and mentally, allowing for personal growth and transformation.

Here's a breakdown of the idea:

1. Unresolved Past Holds Us Back: Painful memories, regrets, or shame from the past can create emotional blockages. These might show up as fear, anger, bitterness, or low self-worth, limiting how we think, relate to others, or pursue goals.

2. Reconciliation Involves Acceptance: This doesn't mean approving of what happened or forgetting it. Instead, it's about accepting that the past cannot be changed, forgiving yourself or others, and learning from those experiences.

3. Healing Opens the Door to Growth: Once peace is made with the past, energy that was spent suppressing or resenting it can now be channeled into self-improvement, relationships, creativity, or spiritual development.

4. Spiritual and Emotional Maturity: Reconciling with your past helps develop empathy, resilience, and wisdom—qualities that mark true growth.

In biblical terms, Joseph in Genesis forgave his brothers for selling him into slavery. That reconciliation allowed healing and the saving of many lives. Similarly, when we make peace with our own histories, we’re more equipped to help and inspire others.

In my case, there are times that I think that I could have done more for my late wife, Haivetamori.

However, she was indeed in a lot of pain.

She had suffered cracked vertebrae after she slipped and fell after overnight showers. She was in pain whenever she moved. Luckily, she was able to manage to look after her mother till she passed in November 2019.

After her mother passed away, Haivetamori's own health began to deteriorate. Being apart perhaps added to her health issues. Her being in Port Moresby, and I back in the village outside Lae.

When she admitted herself into Port Moresby General Hospital in late 2020, I flew over from Lae to Port Moresby and brought her back home.

Her health deteriorated again and after doing our best, she was not able to eat anything, despite our best efforts. We took her to Wampar Health Çentre, they were not able to help her due to her heart condition. 

After waiting for hours for the ambulance, it finally arrived and we were able to transport her to Angau Memorial Hospital. Upon arrival at Angau, they could not attend to her due to a shortage of medical doctors. 

Yauks had by then arrived, and we moved her to Wellness Clinic in top town. After the doctors attended to her, we then moved her to Yauks block at Malahang.

Early the next morning, she was up early, had her showers. After breakfast of some slices of bread, Yauks encouraged her to take her medication.

By the time I woke up, she was into aftershocks of the medication. Peter and I did our best, but after she settled down. She then told Peter and I that she wanted to sleep. When we realized that she wasn't breathing, Peter tried mouth to mouth resusictation, but to no avail. She passed away on the 1st of May, 2021.

We took her home that night. She was buried on Tuesday afternoon, presided over by Br. Paul Winias. The formal funeral service was on Wednesday, presided over by Br. Paul Winias, with Br. John Babul as host via zoom and officiating the proceedings. Br. Benson Yakom gave the funeral talk from Lae via zoom.

See you in Paradise, Haivetamori.